Lying In Relationships

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Sally: Honey, I just bought this dress from the store and it’s absolutely beautiful. You need to see it.

Dave: (excited) Put it on! Put it on!!

Sally: (skipping into the room happily to change) I’ll be right out, Dave! 5 MINUTES!

Dave sits down on the couch in the sitting room. “What could this dress look like? Is it red?! OMG!!! Last time she bought a dress, I fell in love with her all over again!!! Or maybe it’s made of linen…”

Sally: (shouting from inside the room) I’ve been wanting to get it since last two months but I hadn’t saved enough money for it. Today, the shop keeper called me and said that the dress was on sale and I was going to get it for $50 off! I rushed to the store and bought it for only $595! CAN YOU IMAGINE?! That shop keeper is God-sent!

Dave pauses for a moment to process what he just heard. “The dress is worth $595?! Wow!!! It must have pretty glass beads and stuff around the neckline. Maybe it came with a necklace, bangles, and a pair of glass slippers!!!”

Dave: Hurry! Let’s see the clothes!

Sally: I’m coming!

Then Sally walks out of the room (picture this in slow motion) and smiles at Dave. Dave stands up from the couch with beaming eyes and a broad smile. Then he turns his gaze from her most beautiful face to her dress.

What a HORRIBLE brown dress with a HUGE yellow logo at the waist line!

David’s smile is now completely gone.

Sally: Dave? Dave.

Sally: (now annoyed) David Oluwatosin Damilola!!!

Dave: Ye-mmm-ye-yes, dear? (Trying to fake a smile)

Sally: (smiling profusely in excitement, heightened expectations, and anticipation) Do you like it?


What should Dave respond?


Concerning lying, one of the most practiced sins of the 21st century – now disregarded, by some, as a sin altogether – there are three places in the book of Revelation that specifically condemn liars: Revelation 21:8; 21:27; and 22:14-15. In the book of Isaiah 59:1-4, God mentions lying as something so serious that it separates us from Him. It is remarkable that when Isaiah saw the Lord – Isaiah 6:1-7 – he acknowledged that having unclean lips was so serious that it could lead to his ruin before the Lord of Hosts.

God hates lies (Proverbs 12:22).

Nowadays, lies, falsehood, and deceit of all sorts come from the mouths and actions of Christians without any feeling of remorse. Have we silenced our conscience and become like the people St. Paul talks about when he writes:

Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.
– 1 Timothy 4:2

Christian life

We are Christians (Christ-like). We are, therefore, expected to live just like Christ. Click To Tweet

This, then, is how a Catholic Christian must live:

“For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in his steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in his mouth
– 1 Peter 2:21-22

If Jesus thought it was impossible to live a perfect life, he wouldn’t have told us to do so in Matthew 5:48.

Of the “Six things which the LORD hates” in Proverbs 6:16-19, lying is mentioned twice! And we pray for longevity against untimely death, forgetting what the Bible says:

Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.
– Psalm 34:12-13

Ephesians 4:25, again cautions us against lying.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbour, for we are all members of one body.
– Ephesians 4:25

God is Truth

It is important to understand that when you lie, you commit an act that is intrinsically against the very nature of God. God is Truth. A liar, therefore, cannot share in a relationship with a God so pure.

Many people go the extra mile to justify lies. They talk about “white lies” and try to differentiate it from “evil lies” or “black lies.” This mentality is as flawed as the mentality that claims that “white magic” is good.

What people do not understand is that our God is a good God in his very essence. He is not good only in what he says, or his intentions, or his actions, or just his promises. His very character is holiness. Understanding that, we can understand why white lies are still wrong.

Anything that is outside a character of holiness is not a Christian (Christ-like) action. In other words, if I do a good deed with a wrong motive, it is still a wrong deed. And if I do a wrong deed with a good motive, it is still a wrong deed.

We are called to a wholistic holiness, not a fragmented one. Your intention must match your action. Click To Tweet

God Disowns Liars

John, the disciple whom Jesus loved, understood how sin drives us so far from God. And so, in Holy Scriptures, it is written:

The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. … You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
– 1 John 3:8; John 8:44

If the second scripture wasn’t clear enough, let me repeat that in shorter words:

A liar speaks the native language of his father: the devil. Click To Tweet

God just disowned you right there, and it’s not even funny anymore. No matter how small you think the lie is, it’s a big deal to God. He wants nothing to do with a liar so much so that He’s willing to disown you.

So what should Dave reply the girl?

Hehe. I think the real question is, why did Dave found the relationship on the girl’s feelings in the first place? If you want a good relationship, get yourself a spouse that loves God above all things, even more than they love you. A partner who puts God first will never require to lie to please them.

The problem with a good relationship should not be whether or not to tell the truth. It should be, “how do I communicate the truth in the most polite and respectful way?” There’s a principle I work with:

The complete truth must be spoken. You just have to work on delivery. Click To Tweet

A half-truth is not the complete truth. It’s a truth and a lie. Yes, that information you left out, that’s the lie right there. Silence can lie. A shoulder shrug can lie. Any deceitful word or action is a lie.

Don’t try to cheat God. It’s just not possible.

Stay truthful. Stay motivated.

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